:: serik ::

aku tak paham laa napa ada orang tak reti erti serik..
dok gak buat benda yang sama that will end up exactly where they are..
tak penat ke pun duk ulang kesilapan yang serupa?
tak take note ke pun dari experience before?
tak amik iktibar bak kata om melayu..

aku part serik ni memang amik berat skit..
terseksa i tell ya!
takmo dah aku ulang balik benda-benda salah yang aku dah buat dulu..
so mari aa kita sama-sama rasa serik ek..

tapi ada orang tak jugak belajar dari kesilapan..
still buat perkara salah yang last-lastnye, penyesalan!
apa, ko ingat ko buat perkara salah yang sama dengan cara yang baru, things will turn out right??
kalo dah salah tu, outcome indah macam mana yang ko harapkan lagi??

tuhan tu kasi hint, kasi petunjuk banyak kali dah..
supaya kita sedar that our way is wrong!
and suh stop doing it and turn back..

tapi bila kita tak sedar-sedar gak..
dia kasi bala turun laa..
bukan dia kejam.. tapi dia sayang!
dia nak kita sedar dan tau apa yang kita tengah buat tu adalah salah..
dia nak kita tau erti serik!

same like our parents aa..
masa kita kekecik.. mak kata jangan main dekat pasu tu, nanti jatuh pecahh…
takkk! kita degil tak dengar cakap..
PRANNGG! pecah pasu kena siku kita time lari-lari..
dann ZAAP! ZAAPP! laa kaki kita berbirat kena libas ngan mak..

untuk apa semua tu?
adakah mak kita tak sayang sebab pukul kita macam tu?

jawapan nye sama ngan apa tuhan kita wat kat kita selama nih..
dia ‘nasihat’ leklok dulu peringat kat kita..
tapi kita degil tak dengar..
dia kasi ‘hint’ pulak supaya ko sedar..
takk jugak jalann…
haaa.. dia turunkan laa bala dan hidup ko sengsara lepas tu!

adakah salah tuhan?
adakah tuhan tak sayang kat kita for this continuous misery?

tepuk dada, tanya laa ati..
memang tuhan menentukan buruk baik jalan hidup kita..
tapi terpulang pada kita untuk memilih corak jalan cerita yang diredhai..

untuk apa tunggu dalam derita jika ko boleh bangkit dan beredar dari situ?
jangan hanya duduk dan menadah tangan ke langit and hope for miracle..
while yourself tidak berbuat apa-apa..

blaja erti serik dan berubah laa..
thats the best thing you could do..
pity yourself..

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:: kenapa perlu curang? ::

today, kawan aku tego kat chat FB dengan sentapan sebab aku tak wish besdei kat dia..
hehehhe.. sori aa bro, bukan ko sorang aku tak wish..
semua aku tak wish..
so untuk berlaku adil, sorang tak wish, sume tak wish!

aku adalah fail bab-bab wish besdei ni..
and i dont wanna be hipokrit with my wish..so better not wish je laa..
tak mati aih if aku tak wish kan..

so back to his case..
ekceli aku rasa bukan pasai wish yang dia nak dari aku..
tapi more to menagih simpati seorang kawan lama..

aku dah pasan dia tukar status dia as to Divorced at his FB profile..
direct je aku tanya since when ni..
and he told me, dah 2 bulan 1 hari.. from here aku dah dapat agak who’s the culprit behind this, tapi aku takmo cakap lagi (referring to cara dia mengira waktu)..
aku tanya kenapa boley jadi macam ni..

me:  ko buat perangai ke bro?
him:  semua orang kata aku yang buat perangai. dia dah ada lain. aku dah cuba selamatkan, tapi dia nekad nak jugak tinggalkan aku. tahun lepas aku dpt tau. banyak aku bersabar dengan dia. kawan2 nasihat supaya aku lepaskan dia, aku je taknak tapi sekarang aku terpaksa la..




its rutin kan, bila jadi perceraian, kita akan tunding ke laki dulu..
tapi in my fren’s case, aku takmo bersangka buruk dulu ke bini (ex) dia, sebab aku tak kenai dia.. its better to salahkan kawan sendri dulu dalam apa-apa hal..

sedih kan bila jadi macam ni..
he was not the first one kawan lelaki aku yang bercerai becoz the wifey mintak or ada bf lain..
he was the 3rd one!
and all of them ada anak 2-3 orang..
takley feeling-feeling duda berhias ek.. sume ada pakej kat blakang berantai mengekor..

the question here is..
kenapa perlu curang?

tak cukup ke makan pakai laki ko sediakan?
dulu kena kawen paksa ke?
anak-anak?

and for those yang nak cerai sangat sebab nak jantan lain..
that jantan nak ke janda berpakej ni?
bukan nak burukkan janda or cakap janda tak laku ke hapa..
tapi look at the reality la..

that jantan oredi saw what u are capable off..
leaving your husband for other people…
ko ingat dia nak simpan this type of woman?

sah-sah buat stok main je..
or untuk kikis saja..
this jantan will not want to marry you dear, trust me!

and ada gak kes depa ni, the wifey kena guna-guna..
tetiba jadi benci ke laki…
lupa status diri..lupa laki.. lupa anak-anak..

sial this kind of jantan yang suka main cara kotor ni!
macam dah tak cukup pompuan ke kat Mesia ni sampai bini orang ko nak rembat..
hak orang jugakkk yang best kan?
itu jugakkk yang ko nak…
tak gentle langsung!

hmmm..
susah nak cakap bila kita tak lalui semua ni..
tapi aku dah penah rasa part curang, part hak kena rembat cara kotor zaman aku bujang dulu..
and i know it hurts a lot!

all i can say to him is that, berusaha laa berubat if truely dia still sayang ex dia tu.. demi anak-anak..
aku harap that ex-wife-of-his, sedar kesilapan dia and kembali ke pangkal jalan..
sebab one of my fren dah berjaya rujuk kembali lepas berubat and he is now together again with his wife and 2 kids..

apa rasanya bila curang?
aku amat takut nak curang bila dah bergelar isteri..
reli-reli takut!

time kapel-kapel tu adat aa kadang-kadang tergelincir jugak tapi time tu its still ok..
no string attach..
kapel time adalah probation time untuk cari yang terbaek..

tapi bila you and him, oredi binded with solid Ijab & Kabul, how can u possibly broke that promise?
that promise u’ve binded, not only between u and him, but also with God!
itu yang buat aku sentiasa takut nak curang..

if ko dah tak sayang pasangan ko, then leave..
tinggal secara baik-baik…
tapi sila jangan curang dulu ngan jantan/betina lain, then leave..!
dont make it as a reason to leave your used-to-be-loved one..

ko dah gegarkan tiang arash by asking for a divorce..
dont make it worst by stabbing your used-to-be-bedmate in the heart!

:: how do u cope with prob? ::

hello pets n noks..
bertemu kita di hari Ahad nan indah ini di mana gua, as usual, kena keja and u ols adalah berjimba ria di depan astro men petik2 remote layan antu kak limah balik umah.. dem yu!
takpe takpe.. pecah kaca pecah gelas, esok kamis gua balas..
hahahhaa!

giler gua ari ni .. mcm orang kekurangan kasih sayang lak rasanyer..
isk!
idak… enche asben tak dera aku lagik..
dia selalunyer dera manja2 je.. ai laik! hahaha!

oit straight to the point!
sori aku asik lost sb takde GPS *such a lame joke, yes i know, demit!*

ok tajuk gua ari ni adalah..
macam mana korang sume cope up with problem..
tak kisah aa masalah apa sekali pun..
family, friends, work…etc
camne?
cer citer..cer citer (hahaha i owez wanna try that..)

as for me, i handle my problem mostly alone..
aku tak reti nk luah camne.. and i dont see the point if i told someone pun..sb masalah aku takkan settle pun..
that was my theory laa..that was BEFORE!
now i learnt to release my stress by writing down my pain in a diary or something..
if aku tak tahan sangat, baru aku citer tapi tu pun aku tak reti nk citer sgt..
and paling busyuk pun aku akan citer kat sorang je makhluk Allah nih..
yang dah bersama aku since high school and had went through thick n thin with me..
she knows me very well and diary bergerak aku..

i have a few BFF tapi hok sorang ni, if problem involve hal family, dia adalah orang yang akan aku tuju dulu..
coz i dont mind sharing the skeleton in my closet with her coz she does the same with me..

dulu aku handle problem very badly and mostly ended up terrible laa..
jenis ikut sangat kata ati..
tapi skang… i learn to control my emotion and open up to people around me..
kadang-kadang, by talking to your friends can help u a lot..
tapi make sure ko bley percaya laa kawan ko tu sebelom ko open up!
jangan main citer je segala rahsia ko yang u dont want it to end up spreading like a disease to everyone..

some of my methods that u can do to make ur life easier:

1.  Luah pada kawan rapat
bila kita share problem ngan kawan rapat kadang-kadang dapat lepaskan tekanan dan bebanan jiwa kita.. and pilihlah kawan yang blh dipercayai..and by mean ‘kawan rapat’ i meant very-very close fren ok! jangan silap pilih tmpt nk mengadu coz ada kala kita tak tau kot2 orang nyampah dengar masalah2 kita yang tak abih2 ni and end up putting a poker face in front of u je..


2.  Luah pada kertas
if ko rasa agak berat nak share ngan kawan, why not tulis kat kertas/buku or e-diary.. i used to write in Words then aku bubuh password! hehehe..zaman dah moden beb, follow the flow beb! if ko ada ipod/PDA or apa2 yang ada diary dalam tu, laaaagi bagus..macam aku, aku prefer both!  ada satu buku aku buat utk luah segala sakit ati aku.. sometimes, tradisional way adalah best..bila menulis tu rasa layann jee..hehehe!


3.  Mandi and menages
heheh my faveret method! pasang shower kuat2 and duk bawah ayo tu and nages! disamping bunyi ayo yg dapat sorok bunyi tangisan ko, dia juga terus je mencuci ayo mata kat muka tu..dah takley beza dah ayo shower ke, ayo mata..heheh! kuar2 dari shower, dah rupa katak mata tu and your fingers all prune up! sweet~!


4.  Busy yourself
make yourself busy around the house like mengemas or something, or u can pill up yourself with work in the office.. tenggelamkan diri dalam kesibukan untuk lupakan sejenak problem2 tu.. tapi part ni kadang2 tak  membantu sangat sb last2 dapat stress keja lak! makin tambah problem dalam otak.. but you know the drill, kontrol2 aa if nk busy kan diri tu supaya tak mix up ngan benda lain yg bley bikin otak serabut makin teruk..


5.  Makan!
yes! food can help too.. lelebih lagi coklat or eskrem.. food that can stimulate happy-hormone and soothing too.. tapi sila jgn tamak haloba and makan like theres no tomoro! if ko gendut di akhiran, aku tatauuuu!


6.  Go somewhere relaxing
i used to love the beach.. if aku tengah serabut, aku suka pandang laut..tapi kat sini, makin serabut aku tengok pantai depa!


7.  Shopping
yeaah terapi yang amat best for a broken soul… if sengkek sangat, window shopping pun ok janji sopping namanyer…tapi hok ni aku dah tak buat kat sini, sbb enche asben kontrol duit aku and kedit kad adalah tak laku kat sini! mencik!


8.  Watch cartoons
selain awet muda tengok katun selalu (mazhab sendri) ia amat relaxing ekceli.. sbb tengok katun, ko tak perlu nk pikir2 benda logik or any-sort-of-thing.. juz gelak n enjoy yourself…

hmm.. ni je la kot a few methods yg aku amal if aku tengah serabut problem..
korang macam mana pulak?
if rajin, sila laa blogkan cara2 korang and let me know…
sharing is caring gitu~!

::hurtful list::

1. Letting go of a person youve learned and decided to love
2. Reminiscing the good and bad times you shared together
3. Shielding your heart to love somebody
4. Trying to hide what you really feel
5. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes
6. Loving a person too much
7. Giving up someone you never thought of giving up
8. Having the right love at the wrong time
9. Taking the risk to fall in love again
10. Hiding your relationship from someone else
11. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend
12. Thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he never even thinks a single thought of you
13.Letting go, because every time you see the person, you only fall deeper
14. Holding back only to find out when its too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didnt let the feelings out
15. Falling in love with someone you didnt mean to fall in love with
16. Finding the perfect man – with only one problem – he doesnt love you
17. Helping the one you love to court your friend
18. Seeing the one you love crying for someone else
19. The waiting also hurts like h e l l
20. Having to hear … ‘Ive met someone’
21. Agreeing to his wish to just be friends
22. Asking his freedom back so he’d be happier with her
23. Asking you to forget that everything happened and be normal friends again
24. Hearing that youre treated as a sister (ouch!)
25. Sharing his future plans for the gal with you
26. You stopped being friends cuz his gf asked him to.
27. Being denied in front of people
28. Telling you lies where he’d been when actually he was with a new friend or an old flame
29. He told you he’d be leaving you to return to his ex
30. Breaking someones heart
31. Fighting for that one thing that would make you happy
32. That is, holding to a person who can not guarantee you his commitment unless he fix himself – then you are left hanging for the moment – then he says, time will tell.. but you still decided to hope in him and trust him
33. Pretending you’re ok when inside you’re dying
34. Pretending to be strong and recognizing your weakness lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have
35. Being with someone you cant actually love
36. Pretending you dont love a person whom you actually love
37. Being in love
39. Seeing the person you love hurt because of you and not being able to help that person
40. Having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be same again when he doesnt treat you with the same closeness as before
41. Having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you built for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable
42. Admitting that you love someone despite her imperfections
43. Finding out the more you try to hate him, the more you end up loving him, perhaps even more than before
44. Realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up
45. The thought that this boy used to really love you and you loved him as well but you didn’t give enough that he gave up on you
46. Sharing the one you love with somebody else
47. Realizing you were only a pill he took for his broken heart..not to satisfy a healthy heart longing for you…in other words being used…

~have u ever tot of dis before? yeah…dey sure are hurtful..the feeling of not having wat u wish for…or wat u hope it wud b..the feeling of being neglected…being used…trapped in ur own emotion..helplessly drowning without a clue…all of these..it HURTs…a lot!

come on n share your thot that u think is hurtful to you n add to my list…lets prolong the list shall we….?!

::wen live hands u lemon, bring out the salt n tequila!::

life is full of obstacles n lots of junctions u have to pas..ive been thru a lot..given up a lot too…n nearly wanna commit suicide oso..hahhaa..but wen i thot about it..its juz stoopid..why waste our precious life juz becoz uve been hurt…? yeah i cant lie n said that i never cry…YES i do cry..locked masef inside my room..i dont eat..i dont sleep…smoked like hell-knows-what..everything seems wrong..every where i go..i cud see him..all songs made me cried even worst..

yeah i know how u felt sarah..n i share the pain…to tell u to b strong…i’ll b wrong coz wen im in ur spot..i cant accept ppl telling me to b strong…they knew noting bout my pain..they cant feel wat ive been thru..so stop telling me to b strong n all…i juz need ppl to b wit me…hear my pain…cry wit me…i juz need frens…n i felt strong already…no need to speak..not a sound..juz b there for me..

im trying hard to cherish my life more n more these days..life so precious so why waste it? its not the end of the world wen he dumped u..or threat u like shit..build up ur self confident n step forward..put a smile on ur face n thrown away those bulging-eyes-face..U R BEAUTIFUL..u can b beautiful in ur own ways..it doesnt matter if u r old..or doesnt have a prefect skin n so on n so on…God made us special in our own way…each n everyone of us is speacial..if that sum1 doesnt know how to appreciate God’s gift..than he doesnt deserve any1..such a loser..


anugerah Tuhan amat sempurna..hanya kita manusia yg tidak tahu menghargainya..mebi itu kah balasan kepada kita kerna tidak tau menghargai pemberian Tuhan?hmm…tiap kali terluka…kita pasti akan merosakkan diri dgn pelbagai cara..hanya utk melupakan sengsara alasan kita..haiy~ im clueless..coz this is my case..