:: emotionally disturb i tink ::

dont know why but i feel the urge to cry secara tiba-tiba..mambang mana dh sampuk gua nih?

yesterday kat Indonesian Embassy, after terawikh ada short tazkirah gitu oleh Pak Masron, Attache bahagian Agama diorang xsalah aku.. aku dah start ati rasa sebak je..

then suddenly ati aku rasa sayu and mata mula start berkaca..then terpandang anak2 kecik staff situ.. adoii bertambah sayu rasa ati tak pasai2..

aku tahan sampai balik umah.. cuba sibukkan diri..
and now the feeling comes back
but now aku dah takde topik, what to cry for?

nak kata aku sedih hal raya..ptthhbb!
nope..that was not it..
reli u guys, im fine here xsedih pun..
aku dh imun after 3 years tak cium tangan makpak di pagi raya..

pada aku raya is juz another long holiday je..
and when im still in malaysia pun, raya was nothing to me..
aku dah takde grandparents on both sides..
going back to kampung was not an option pun..
sedara mara pun xbanyak..

pagi raya lepas semayang raya, salam-salam…dah!
sambung terlentang depan tv layan sarkas or Sembilu..

we even amalkn closed door starting on seken hari raya.. im not that keen to layan orang sangat and my mom serender awal sebab dah start pose nam time tu..

for me, raya was ‘hmmph!’
aku suka lagi ramadan ekceli..
it is sad that it will ended few days lagi T__T
bulan yang penuh rahmat and double bonus for segala ibadah yg ko buat.. hate to see it go!

sometimes i feel so bitter inside when it comes to hari raya, same like how i felt for valentine’s day!
dont like it.. and i dont celebrate it either..
but i’l juz play along..

bila dah makin tua ni.. there’s nothing joyious bout raya.. its the same feeling when u turning 30 for the first time! juz blank and blur inside..

u dont get to receive duit raya anymore, that’s one there!
now.. its u who have to hulur duit raya.. its dabel hurayy if u dont have kids of your own to counterstrike the payment u have made to others who have 5 children!!

perasaan nk beli baju raya pun tak sama macam time ko kekecik..bila makpak cakap its time to go to the mall to get new Kikilala dress!!
superexcited!
now, its u who have to pay for your own new clothes (except to those yg ado bf/ laki/ sugardady).. tu blom masuk if ado anak-anak..

and dont get me started on the preparation hari raya.. langsir baru, carpet baru.. cadar tilam bantal sofa abih nak sume baru!
tu blom hal kuih raya..

fuh.. i think ive juz killed whats left of the spirit of hari raya in me..
enuf and stop ah.
this is depressing!

bye..

BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “:: emotionally disturb i tink ::

  1. ko sama dgn aku.. pagi raya aku rasa aku akan okeh je sbb masa kat malaysia pun raya tuh dah takde apa bg aku… apa apa pun.. memang kekadang aku pun ada emosi.. emosi yang tdk dpt dikenal pasti.. bercampur aduk sampai kita keliru dgn emosi diri sendiri 🙂

    Like

Mai Komen Skit...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s